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Only If I Stay Formats Available: Ebook | Paperback | Signed
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The first book in the completed Scars We Carry series.

A raw, gritty emotionally dark romance about grief, survival, and learning how to live again when the person you love doesn't come home.

❤️ Widow × husband's best friend
🚑 Paramedic heroine
🖤 He stayed when everyone else walked away
🔥 Dark, messy, emotionally heavy romance
📚 Completed series of interconnected stanalones

About Only If I Stay

Lana has spent years surviving. A widow, a paramedic, and a single mom raising two boys who are just as broken by loss as she is. Her life runs on autopilot—48-hour shifts, unfinished laundry, and the haunting memories of the man she couldn’t save.

Lucas was her husband’s best friend. He’s the man who stayed when Lana pushed everyone away. And now, he’s the one making her feel something other than numb.

When tragedy strikes again, Lana is forced to confront the truth: survival isn’t the same as healing. And maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t have to do it alone this time.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

These are dark romances that stay with you long after you’ve read the last word. They take you on a wild emotional journey but are so worth reading and sharing. I sat speechless when I finished them.

-Casey The Outsiders Bookshelf

Please Read Before Purchasing

This novel contains themes of:

  • Line-of-duty death (LODD)
  • Pediatric emergency medical calls
  • PTSD & trauma
  • Grief, widowhood, and emotional recovery
  • Sexual intimacy and mental health coping mechanisms


Order fulfillment note!

eBook- Immediate download through Bookfunnel

Paperback- Please allow ~2 weeks 

Signed Paperback- Ships Tuesdays and Fridays. If that changes you will be notified!

 

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K
Kelsey McDonough

Between the two days of reading (yes you read that correctly) with the bulk 20 chapters read today (back in January)… and it wasn’t by lack of trying. OIIS is one of the most emotionally raw of any anecdotal-based fiction novels I’ve ever read... And if it wasn’t personally experienced, then I’m blown away even more. It read like a journal, but it didn’t have that feeling and the fact that two perspectives were given made it. I loved this book!