This book is for my dark romance readers that crave grit in their books. The ones who carry their trauma quietly. 

Only If I Stay is a dark, emotionally heavy romance about survival, control, and choosing to love again — even when it hurts.

Lana has spent years surviving. A widow, a paramedic, and a single mom raising two boys who are just as broken by loss as she is. Her life runs on autopilot—48-hour shifts, unfinished laundry, and the haunting memories of the man she couldn’t save.

Lucas was her husband’s best friend. He’s the man who stayed when Lana pushed everyone away. And now, he’s the one making her feel something other than numb.

When tragedy strikes again, Lana is forced to confront the truth: survival isn’t the same as healing. And maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t have to do it alone this time.

Only If I Stay is a raw, emotional romance about love after loss, the brutal beauty of grief, and what happens when you finally stop running from the wreckage.

This novel contains themes of:

• Line-of-duty death (LODD)
• Pediatric emergency medical calls
• PTSD & trauma
• Grief, widowhood, and emotional recovery
• Sexual intimacy and mental health coping mechanisms